OMG YOU GUYS. DAMIEN ECHOLS WAS LIKE “JACOB IS CONSIDERING SETTING UP A TWITTER ACCOUNT AND NOW HE’S LOOKING AT PICS HE WOULD USE ‘IF’ HE DOES IT”

jacobpittslovelyface:

OH DEAR GOD WHAT IS THIS? PLEASE GOD DO NOT LET HIM CONSIDER. I WANT HIM TO HAVE A TWITTER AND RUIN MY LIFE. I’M NOT EVEN FUCKING WITH YOU GUYS ON THIS. PRAY TO THE ALMIGHTY THAT THIS HAPPENS

This is ridiculous. I want to cry—and perfect timing too, considering I’m on summer vacation leaving me more time to potentially have interaction with *the* Jacob Pitts.

"He [Rick Santorum] is a staunch opponent of abortion, even in the case of rape. Even in the case of rape, telling CNN recently that a woman, in that case, should, and I quote, ‘make the best out of a bad situation, and accept the gift from God.’ Wow. I think women should say the same thing to Santorum, Andy, after from now until the end of his weaselly life, they see him in the street and kick him in the fucking balls. ‘Please accept this gift from God, Rick, this pointed-shoed gift to your plums. Why are you rolling around on the ground crying, Rick? Please make the best out of this bad situation. In fact, rejoice, because I believe another lady is coming over to gift you with another high-velocity nut shot. Praise be, Rick! God is graciously raining gifts into your groinal area, you fucking douche.’"

John Oliver on Rick Santorum, The Bugle 183 (via sixpencesoulcake)

Undressed Skeleton: Angel Food Vs. Devils Food (Just Read This In "The Skinny Rules")

undressedskeleton:

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated
the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and
red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and
healthy lives.
Then using God’s great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream
and…

omg-yanks:

The Stanford Men’s Soccer team demonstrates how they maintain their pristine field befor their home opener

[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

mynamekyle:

Do you guys remember the time I was a senior in high school and had to create a commercial for my economics class and so I produced this and showed it to the class and nobody laughed except for me but I still got an A and my teacher kept the DVD to show to his classes every year? 

Because I do. 

Someday, you shall be in both mine and my mother’s possession where we will love you and your twin with tender whispers and soft caresses from the daily wear and tear that is the outside world.

(Source: ririmarley)

itsworththerisk:

Holy. Mother. Of. Purple. Pancakes. What. Is. This. 

YOU MUST READ THIS. ALL OF IT. SERIOUSLY READ IT. DO IT NOW. YOU HAVE TOO. IT'LL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

collarblinds:

everythingthatglitteraintgold:

This is one dedicated jokester

(Source: thehoboacrossthestreet)

[Flash 10 is required to watch video]

I need friends like these.

(Source: punkadyne)